dugaan lagi

"adik, bangun dik.. tolong ibu carik babang.. kakak je ade tu, tengah makan kat belakang. dah satu rumah ibu carik babang tapi tak jumpe.."

ibu mengejut aku sambil bersiap2 nak ke sekolah. ada program katanya.

aku keluar, habis satu rumah aku ronda.

"babang.. babangggg!!.." aku memanggil.

5 minit kemudian, kak adah (sis in law) menjengah di pintu.

"shima, tak payah carik lagi. babang dah takde."

aku diam. what does she mean by he's gone? tajam aku renung kak adah.

"along cakap along ngan angah terlanggar babang. babang main dalam enjin kereta."

zaaaaapppppppppppp! macam direntap hati ni. SAKIT!

air mata turun laju, laju sangat. macam air paip. aku tak mampu nak tahan.

babang, one of my two kitties. dulu ada 4, tapi 2 dah  mati sebab sakit. dulu masa yang 2 mati, air mata jugak yang jadi peneman. babang was one of the cutest kitties i've ever had. he had grey fur, with white dots. and yes, green eyes. he loved to meow, like seriously meowing. all the time. he asked for food every minute, as if we hadn't feed him for days. he was heavy, much heavier than he used to be. he was growing up, i could say. growing up very fastly. and now, i have to accept the reality though it's too bitter. yes, he's gone. till we meet again adik, in heaven, i wish.

memang benar Allah menguji hambanya melalui macam-macam cara. dan cara yang paling senang diuji adalah apa yang kita sayang.

i love cats. i could cry seeing stray cats, meowing for food. i could cry seeing sick cats. i could cry seeing anything bad happened to cats. not only my cats, but any cats. that's me.

sekali lagi Allah turunkan dugaan untuk aku. Dia mengambil babang untuk menguji aku. mungkn aku semakin alpa, Dia sentiasa ada untuk menegur.

dalam tangisan, ada kekuatan.

insya'Allah.